I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
