I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.