So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
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She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
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I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?