He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?