you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay