you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,