He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.