Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now