his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
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he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
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I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.