When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes