He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.