Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
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So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
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Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.