WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
