WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?