He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go