Texts From Last Night

Last Night in North Carolina (919)

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth

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  (919): It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth http://tfl.nu/y1ni
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  i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.

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  (919): i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment. http://tfl.nu/f76z
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  Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more

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  (919): Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more http://tfl.nu/wtn6
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  anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi

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  (919): anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi http://tfl.nu/rjb1
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  At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?

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  (919): At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex? http://tfl.nu/35cd
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  please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys

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  (919): please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys http://tfl.nu/inic
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  bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

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  (919): bitch so ugly she owes me an erection http://tfl.nu/ldn1
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  CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us

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  (919): CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us http://tfl.nu/dd67
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  Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??

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  (919): Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ?? http://tfl.nu/0nsh
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  we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best

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  (919): we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best http://tfl.nu/79hx
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  he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.

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  (919): he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer. http://tfl.nu/8j5z
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  Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too

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  (919): Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too http://tfl.nu/1k8w
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  his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.

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  (919): his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more. http://tfl.nu/6a2v
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  Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?

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  (919): Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus? http://tfl.nu/9yje
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  Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?

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  (919): Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days? http://tfl.nu/slhv
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