Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor