Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.