Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it