it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.