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Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
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