Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (908)

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops

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  (908): Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops http://tfl.nu/wq2e
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.

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  (908): I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game. http://tfl.nu/k79m
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.

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  (908): ....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle. http://tfl.nu/zsd1
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg

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  (774): did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise (908): omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg http://tfl.nu/l4h8
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk

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  (908): I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk http://tfl.nu/wvk1
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  When / where did the additional couches appear?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Additional?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.

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  (908): When / where did the additional couches appear? (732): Additional? (908): James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up. http://tfl.nu/kn0g
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (259)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?

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  (908): do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"? http://tfl.nu/vbms
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either

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  (908): Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either http://tfl.nu/pvlp
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned

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  (908): And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned http://tfl.nu/t8ci
  Replies (8) Good night (782) Bad night (230)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?

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  (908): I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember? (610): Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead? http://tfl.nu/yv69
  Replies (12) Good night (1117) Bad night (365)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk

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  (908): if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk http://tfl.nu/13sw
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.

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  (908): I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling. http://tfl.nu/t9ar
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.

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  (908): Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud. http://tfl.nu/9hne
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.

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  (908): But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying. http://tfl.nu/oo2a
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.

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  (908): I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested. http://tfl.nu/1tav
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