Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober