he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dating After Heartbreak
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.