I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how