Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.