He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.