hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.