We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed