I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
