I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Come share oat with me in your robe
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I accidentally invented a religion.