Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (715)

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  Why do you need me to cover for work?

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.

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  (715): Why do you need me to cover for work? (608): I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen. http://tfl.nu/izqg
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  I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.

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  (715): I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great. http://tfl.nu/f48j
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  Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying

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  (715): Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying http://tfl.nu/dqm7
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  He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"

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  (715): He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl" http://tfl.nu/l2de
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  Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?

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  (715): Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him? http://tfl.nu/jy7k
  Replies (5) Good night (1733) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

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  (715): Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration. http://tfl.nu/envu
  Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (348)
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  Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  Probably

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  (715): Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment? (1-715): Probably http://tfl.nu/g5lc
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  I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better

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  (715): I haven't seen her in ages, how is she? (651): Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better http://tfl.nu/q7yr
  Replies (5) Good night (1991) Bad night (439)
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  your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage

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  HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES

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  (715): your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage (608): HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES http://tfl.nu/buhh
  Replies (5) Good night (2419) Bad night (423)
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  I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever

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  (715): I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever http://tfl.nu/rkkg
  Replies (3) Good night (1361) Bad night (352)
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  begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown

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  (715): begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown http://tfl.nu/xg0v
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  I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...

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  (715): I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to... http://tfl.nu/6wxx
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  All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever

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  (715): All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever http://tfl.nu/1qjr
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  Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?

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  (715): Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend? http://tfl.nu/ol2o
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  It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.

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  (715): It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection. http://tfl.nu/qz8n
  Replies (16) Good night (1669) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt