I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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