Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be