Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.