Last Night in Missouri (636)

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  ANTI-GAME

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I am so proud to call you my friend

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  They're giving you narcotics aren't they?

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  If I offered to share would you come visit me?

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice

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