His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter