Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (630)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover http://tfl.nu/rxwn
  Replies (6) Good night (669) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks. http://tfl.nu/bpzl
  Replies (3) Good night (1415) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk http://tfl.nu/t8bq
  Replies (6) Good night (1730) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock... http://tfl.nu/p7g4
  Replies (8) Good night (1348) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could http://tfl.nu/zj3u
  Replies (4) Good night (1130) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone http://tfl.nu/tam4
  Replies (4) Good night (824) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze http://tfl.nu/yikf
  Replies (3) Good night (1052) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling? http://tfl.nu/57n3
  Replies (8) Good night (294) Bad night (1486) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness http://tfl.nu/aq74
  Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode. http://tfl.nu/h8l8
  Replies (11) Good night (2596) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican. (1-630): I don't even want to know http://tfl.nu/s13d
  Replies (3) Good night (963) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so.... http://tfl.nu/umr8
  Replies (4) Good night (374) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening http://tfl.nu/ov5q
  Replies (2) Good night (261) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday http://tfl.nu/2qux
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room? http://tfl.nu/9f6x
  Replies (11) Good night (379) Bad night (1270)