I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.