I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.