If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.