We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?