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you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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