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He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I puked a lego.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
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