She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character