I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.