We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules