I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex