I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.