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Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
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