I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?