Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (509)

Last Night in Washington (509)

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you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin

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and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"

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(509): you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin (509): and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD" http://tfl.nu/lw4q

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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.

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(509): I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job. http://tfl.nu/4wpv

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I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?

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talent.

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(509): I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy? (1-509): talent. http://tfl.nu/18h3

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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid

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(509): And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid http://tfl.nu/oqc1

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Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.

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(509): Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully. http://tfl.nu/j9yb

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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea

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(509): We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea http://tfl.nu/v62m

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Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom

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(509): Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom http://tfl.nu/fom9

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after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery

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(509): after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery http://tfl.nu/ntn4

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I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?

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(509): I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have? http://tfl.nu/03l6

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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.

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(509): My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina. http://tfl.nu/xxcl

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Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.

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(509): Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape. http://tfl.nu/qdov

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I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.

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(509): I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed. http://tfl.nu/6ffn

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You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.

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(509): You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters. http://tfl.nu/qaew

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My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand

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(509): My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand http://tfl.nu/ch2o

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We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?

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Places.

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Plural? Please tell.

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(503): We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep? (509): Places. (503): Plural? Please tell. http://tfl.nu/23q8

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Last Night in Washington (509)

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