Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
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after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.