Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
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Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.