First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
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He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
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Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.