Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is not my ceiling
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.