I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'd wear matching sweaters with you