he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT