So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.