Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
did i just pee glitter
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN