Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit