Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in