I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials